where to begin . . .

This is my first blog, so I don't really know how to do this. Here goes . . .

Joe and I have been married for almost 4 years. Out of all of those years we have wanted children. We both had it on our hearts to adopt one day even before we met. We just figured we would have our own first. It is MUCH cheaper. : )

About a year and a half ago, we started looking into adoption. I really felt in my heart that God had a baby for me and to start praying for it. After researching and talking to others, we decided to wait on the adoption and try out some "treatments" to help us get pregnant. Joe works for a church and is going to seminary and I work part-time at a Christian school. So, thinking about the cost of adoption was overwhelming.

After several disappointments and doctor bills, I came to the end of myself. I was led to let go and wait for God to show us what to do. I was done trying to figure it all out and "geetit dun" get it done. (I am very much a go-getter. Joe is more of the "trust and God will provide" one.) After years of watching others get married, pregnant, and pregnant again, I was beginning to understand why some women couldn't go to baby showers anymore. I always thought in the back of my mind that they just didn't have enough faith. But I knew in my heart that God had a baby for me. I just didn't know when or how. So, God has given me more mercy for the broken-hearted, because I was truly broken. But I held fast and waited for God to move us.

One night we went to a family's house for dinner. They talked about their heart for adoption and that got us starting to talk about it again. That night I couldn't sleep and so I went to the baby room we prepared months ago as our "seed of faith" and started reading through Psalms. I got to the part about being knit together in the mother's womb. All of a sudden, I got this urge to pray for protection for my baby and that this baby wasn't going to come from my womb. That was one of the first of many signs that adoption is where God was leading us. I, of course, went through times of doubting that it was really from God, but every time I began to doubt, He would give me another sign. I guess I had to get in the passenger's seat and wait for God to drive. He has surely been driving us through the beginning stages of this process. Every time we hit a bump, it has worked out without us really having to do anything. He has blessed us with advocates, encouragers, prayers, advisers, and even financial assistance. It is so God, because we have not asked for this help. We have truly been humbled and don't know how to even begin to thank those that have been so instrumental already.

BTW- We have just gotten pre-approved by the agency and are about to start our application and Home Study. So, this is truly just the beginning.

There is too much to type in one sitting, so check back for updates and more pieces of this big puzzle that God is putting together.