Samuel had his first beach trip a couple of weeks ago. He LOVED the waves and sand. I do notice that he enjoys toys and fun things like the water, but he mostly wants to explore. When we first went to the pool, he didn't want to leave. He cried loudly. Now when we go, he is only in for a few minutes and then wants to get out to walk/run around and check things out. He especially loves to turn on and off the water hoses. He is beginning to enjoy playing with other kids, especially older ones. Like most kids, he loves to be chased but he also thinks it is funny to copy silly things the big kids do. One of his favorites is Ring Around the Rosies because he is a master at falling down. When we are at home, he takes the pillows and puts them on the floor so he can dive off the couch on to them. I am constantly calling him my silly boy.
While we were at the beach, we both believe God has given us a direction, at least for one part of our lives. We have been praying for a while about possibly me not teaching anymore. In the past, I would tell people that I didn't think I could be a stay-at-home mom. Some of my friends that have stayed at home have struggled with depression or just seemed tired or unhappy. When Samuel first came, I stayed home for a couple of months and could see how one could feel isolated. So, working was an outlet for me. I felt connected to the world and that I was making a difference outside the home. Since then, God has been working on my heart. Samuel had a hard time, especially the last few months, with me leaving him. I know this could be the "fear of abandonment" phase, but it was hard on me. I love teaching, but I was so tired by the time I got home, Samuel would nap if he hadn't already while I got some housework done, and then when he woke up I had to cook dinner, clean up, and then maybe have a couple of hours with him before bedtime. But I had Friday-Sunday with him all day and somehow it worked.
Our thought was that when Joe got another job and made more money, then I would stay home. We were receiving help with Samuel's care even with both of us working, so there was no way I could quit. We have heard other stories of families going on faith for the mom to stay home, but most of their husbands made at least $40,000 a year. Well, that is not the case with us. SO, when God started putting on our hearts, mostly Joe's, for me to stay home next school year, I was unsure. But during this trip, God showed us in several ways that this is our time to take a leap of faith, not based on circumstances, but based on our trust and obedience to Him. Since then, He has confirmed our decision in many ways, especially with His peace. This means that I am officially a stay-at-home mom and couldn't be happier about it!!!
Now, I don't know what things will look like nor I am trying to figure it out just yet. We are praying about how to be wise with our finances and will be seeking guidance and tips from others that have had to do the same. I have always been conscience of spending money, but even more so now. Of course, God is our main source of wisdom and leading. Joe doesn't have another job yet and we have no idea where or when he will. If you have any money saving tips, we are happy to hear them!
We can say that your prayers have been answered in that we both are truly open to go anywhere and do whatever He calls us. With one of the past possibilities, we had to consider whether we would move back to my hometown and live with my parents for a while. We were both willing, even though it would be hard and uncomfortable at times. Don't get me wrong, my parents are great and we get along wonderfully, but anyone bringing in a family to live in the same house with their parents (not having our own kitchen or living room) has uncomfortable moments. BUT, this opportunity doesn't seem to be the one God is leading us to. I could be wrong, but at this moment, it doesn't look like it is. The good thing is, our hearts are open to moving or staying and now we know it.
So, thank you for your prayers!!! Please continue to pray for God's guidance with Joe's job and our new situation. That God will be glorified and we will continue to have peace and joy even when things look impossible.
BTW- We do still want more children and are praying for God's guidance with that as well. I am having some health issues, nothing major, but would love to figure out what is causing these symptoms and to have a treatment, not just a band aid. There are several symptoms that have worsened over the years, but for me worst part is that I get tired very easily and have foggy thinking. I am taking B12 and am waiting for blood test reports to see why. We have done a lot of research and think we know the cause, but the doctors over the last 10 years haven't seemed to want to research it more. Instead they want to put me on birth control pills, which I will not do because we want children. So, I may be having to look for a new Dr. and specialist. If you have a great proactive Dr. feel free to share their information with me. : )
